Book: Playing to Win

This briefing document summarizes the main themes and important ideas presented in the provided excerpts from Hilary Levey Friedman's "Playing to Win: Raising Children in a Competitive Culture." The book explores the increasing emphasis on competitive extracurricular activities for American children and how this phenomenon, termed "Competitive Kid Capital," shapes their upbringing, gender roles, and future aspirations. Friedman utilizes ethnographic research, including interviews with parents, children, and coaches involved in chess, dance, and soccer, to illustrate the motivations behind this trend and its consequences.

Main Themes and Important Ideas:

1. The Rise of Competitive Kid Capital:

• Friedman argues that American families are increasingly focused on developing "measurable virtue" in their children through competitive activities, driven by the importance of college admissions in shaping future class standing. This has led to a "second shift for kids," centered around the acquisition of "Competitive Kid Capital."
• This capital encompasses skills, experiences, and achievements gained through organized, competitive extracurriculars, which parents believe are crucial for their children's future success in an increasingly competitive world.
• The motivation for this early start in the "college admissions race" is fueled by parental anxieties about their children's economic futures and the pivotal role of college in the United States.

2. Historical Shift in Children's Competitive Activities:

• Historically, around a hundred years ago, competitive activities were often associated with lower-class children under nonparental supervision, while upper-class children engaged in noncompetitive pursuits at home. This has reversed, with middle and upper-middle-class families now heavily investing in their children's competitive extracurriculars.

3. The Construction of Competitive Childhoods through Chess, Dance, and Soccer:

• The book examines three specific competitive activities – chess, dance, and soccer – as case studies to understand the dynamics of Competitive Kid Capital.
• Each activity has its own unique culture, organizational structure, reward systems (trophies, ribbons, patches), and selection processes.
• Despite their differences, these activities share structural similarities, indicating a broader trend of institutionalized competitive childhood in the US.
• The scholastic chess scene, for example, is described as a small but divided world with coaches guarding their "turf." While predominantly male, it offers opportunities for children to engage in mental competition.
• Competitive dance has experienced a "tele vi sion revival" and emphasizes performance and judgment.
• Youth soccer involves team dynamics and often culminates in tournaments.

4. Parental Motivations and Philosophies:

• Parents have diverse motivations for enrolling their children in competitive activities, ranging from fostering well-roundedness ("got lots of muscles and it’s exciting to think of him using them all and making the best of them" - Josh, a parent) to cultivating specific skills and a "competitive vision of the world."
• Some parents adopt a "generalist" approach, exposing their children to various activities to develop diverse skills and social comfort ("little Re nais sance men"). Others lean towards a "specialist" path, focusing on intensive training in one or two areas.
• Parental talk often reveals ambivalence, with some expressing concern that their efforts to provide opportunities might be taking something away from their children's unstructured play and childhood. ("I’m concerned because in our desire to give them a well- rounded education and provide for them, what if we are just taking some- thing away from them? What if the child needs to go to the backyard...")

5. Gender and Competitive Activities:

• Gender plays a significant role in how children and parents approach competitive activities. Different activities are associated with distinct "gender scripts" for girls: "graceful" (dance), "aggressive" (soccer), and "pink warrior" (chess).
• These scripts influence parental choices and expectations for their daughters, often linking participation to the development of specific feminine traits or future career opportunities. For example, soccer parents often want their daughters to be aggressive and "play like boys."
• Chess offers a unique space where girls can be both aggressive and embrace a feminine appearance ("pink girl"). Susan Polgar notes that the non-physical nature of chess is important in promoting gender equality in the game.
• While fathers' involvement in their athletic daughters' lives has increased, potential issues arise, such as differing levels of aggression in supporting sons' versus daughters' teams.
• Children themselves hold strong, sometimes rigid, ideas about what activities are "right" for boys and girls. ("No. They just don’t want to play because maybe it’s a boy sport." - Chess boy on girls playing chess).

6. The Child's Experience of Competitive Activities:

• Children involved in competitive activities are deeply invested in winning and the associated rewards, particularly trophies ("I like the big ones because I feel like I won bigger and better on those"). They also value medals and ribbons as markers of achievement and improvement.
• The experience of competition can evoke strong emotions, including devastation at losing, especially when results are public and known among peers.
• Children develop strategies for coping with the stress of competition, such as seeking comfort from parents or trying to psych out opponents.
• Friendships form within and across competitive teams, providing social support and a sense of belonging. However, gender segregation in many activities reinforces children's views on gender roles.
• Children treat their competitive activities seriously, akin to a "job," and are aware of rankings and levels of competition.

7. The Institutional Context and Profitability of Competitive Childhood:

• A complex ecosystem of individuals, organizations, and businesses profits from the creation of child competitors, including coaches, studios, tournament organizers, and equipment providers.
• These entities contribute to the institutionalization of competitive childhood by establishing rules, rankings, and opportunities for advancement.

8. Research Methodology:

• The author employed ethnographic methods, including participant observation and semistructured interviews with parents, children, and coaches across urban and suburban settings.
• The appendix provides insights into the fieldwork process, including site selection, managing the researcher role, and strategies for interviewing children.

Quotes:

• "Families fashion an entire way of life or ga nized around the production of mea sur able virtue in children." - Mitchell Stevens (quoted in the introduction)
• "Enter to Grow in Wisdom." - Dexter Gate inscription at Harvard Yard (Preface)
• "He was devastated! First he was shocked at the idea of having to play Mitchell and he was devastated at having lost to Mitchell." - Mother describing her son's reaction to losing a chess game (Chapter 3)
• "These girls have princess T-shirts on. [They have] rhinestones and bows in their hair— and they beat boys. And the boys come out completely defl ated." - Mother describing "pink warrior" chess girls (Chapter 4)
• "Well, I think girls need to realize that anything boys can do, girls can do too. And chess is one of them. It doesn’t require physical strength. It requires brain power." - Susan Polgar on girls in chess (Chapter 4)
• "Three straight years playing chess—fi rst- place trophy— and I’m not sure it’s going to be four." - Max, a young chess player (Chapter 6)
• "Some of my friends just like to have a lot of trophies. You can have a million last- place trophies, but that’s not as important as having one fi rst- place trophy." - John, a young chess player (Chapter 6)

Conclusion:

The excerpts from "Playing to Win" highlight the significant and multifaceted phenomenon of competitive childhood in America. Driven by parental aspirations and anxieties, and supported by a growing industry, organized extracurricular activities have become a central aspect of child-rearing. This competitive environment shapes children's skill development, social interactions, understanding of gender, and their experiences with success and failure. Friedman's research provides valuable insights into the motivations and consequences of raising children in this increasingly competitive culture, raising questions about the potential benefits and drawbacks of such an intensive approach to childhood.

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